| This One Goes Out To You... |
| -July 22, 2007 | 09:13pm- |
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It always sucks refolding the kind of map
Needed when I get stuck where the sun don't shine the fact
Is if I just shut up my rubbered stamp could flag you as dumb
It ain't your mind you're givin' me a piece of
As it don't take Einstein to know that's just obscene but
It's been Buck Rogers' time since I hit other than rock bottom
Even the odds of having you against me
With your crotchless jihad on blue balls evidently
Are all mighty good God so angel dust my soul like James Brown
Street legal whore hauling so much stunning ass
Sell yourself short like Bridget at the Bunny Ranch
Do it all fours the satisfaction of getting fouled
I'm the least you could do
If only life were as easy as you
I'm the least you could do
Oh yeah if only life were as easy as you
I would still get screwed
I don't care if getting under someone that's
Beneath you fits the M.O. of conundrum as
You reckoned this was just a fancy word for rubbers
I aim to get a bang out of working your
Weak spot that sets the bar so low just nerve can score
With no respect since oddly danger feels like pay dirt
I'm the least you could do
If only life were as easy as you
I'm the least you could do
Oh yeah if only life were as easy as you
If only
When my fumbling breaks you should
I thank your dad for the damaged goods?
When my fumbling breaks you should
I thank your dad for the damaged goods?
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| This Movie Rules! |
| -July 04, 2007 | 01:24am- |
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Transformers = FUCKING AWESOME!!
That is all.
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| Blah blah blah |
| -July 03, 2007 | 03:39am- |
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Linkin Park probably- |
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Okay so I've been home for about three weeks now, going back to Indy on Sunday. Tomorrow a few of us are going to see Transformers (whoopy!) so that should be fun.
Lets see, what else. We bought a pool table the other week, so that's been fun, having that here. I believe we're going up to Julie's on the forth for the regular festivities and also for her birthday. Went to see 1408 also, that was pretty good, saw it with James and Chris (so many Chris's I know). After that we played some pool and I went over to Chris' house a couple times to play poker, which was also quite fun.
Just finished building pretty much the entire portfolio page, so the construction phase of that project is done, now I just need to resize some of the pictures and upload everything online, I have feeling that I may need to go back and save some of the images for the page to a smaller file size, or else that site is going to be HUGE.
Umm, hung out at Rick's a few times, Nick needs to stop growing and wise up, little shit has been getting into trouble. I really can't think of much else to say, so I think I'll leave it at that.
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| The Ring Goes South |
| -June 19, 2007 | 11:22pm- |
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Linkin Park - No Roads Left But One- |
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I sit beside the fire and think
of all that I have seen,
of meadow-flowers and butterflies
in summers that have been;
Of yellow leaves and gossamer
in autumns that there were,
with morning mist and silver sun
and wind upon my hair.
I sit beside the fire and think
of how the world will be
when winter comes without a spring
that I shall ever see.
For still there are so many things
that I have never seen:
in every wood in every spring
there is a different green
I sit beside the fire and think
of people long ago,
and people who will see a world
that I shall never know.
But all the while I sit and think
of times there were before,
I listen for returning feet
and voices at the door.
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| Pissed |
| -May 19, 2007 | 03:39pm- |
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOD DAMNIT MOTHER FUCKER GOD DAMNIT DAMNIT DAMNIT FUCKING DAMNIT MOTHER FUCKING SHIT ASS FUCK!!!!!!!!!!
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| Have you ever gotten into a fist fight with a Pine tree? |
| -May 15, 2007 | 01:11pm- |
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Linkin Park - In Pieces- |
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Okay, last week I drove home on Wednesday, my birthday, and stayed in Ohio through the weekend. Spent some nice time just hanging out at home, just a nice uneventful birthday, it was nice. Thursday night mother, Julie and I went out to dinner at Max & Erma's where we were lucky enough to get to listen to that hip new band "Screaming Children," so that was nice. On Friday mother and I spent some time working in the back yard, I spent most of my time back there cutting up parts of trees, DIE, NATURE! Later that day we went to see Zach Braff's new film, The Ex, which I found to be very funny and enjoyable, but sadly it more or less tanked, but in it's defense, why the fuck would the studio choose the weekend after Spider-Man 3 to release it? You've got to know that SP3 will still being going strong after only a week. Plus there was the added hurt of open against 28 Weeks Later, an anticipated sequel, bastards, all of them! And then Shrek 3 comes out the next week afterwards. They just didn't even try to give that film a good chance.
Saturday I don't think we really did all that much, had a little BBQ and then later that night I went with Amanda to go see SP3 again. There were some high school age girls there as well, all I'm going to say about them... They're lucky they didn't walk into the parking lot while I was leaving, I'm pretty confident I could have taken out at least 3 of them with Amanda clipping at least another 1 or 2 with the door, I believe there were 5 or 6 total.
And finally on Sunday I dug a nice big hole and planted my old pine tree for my mother in the back yard and afterwards we went to the mall for a while. I got some new shorts and a LP hoodie. We also each got a book, though the book she bought is something I also want to read ( God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything, by Christopher Hitchens) so I'm going to get it when she's done. I got the new J.R.R. Tolkien book. Then yesterday I drove back to Indy, where later that night Joshua and I went out to the bar and played some pool, Robert joined us for a bit as well. It was a fun time except for the obnoxious assholes at the table next to us.
I think that's it for now. Type to you later.
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| Leave Out All The Rest |
| -May 09, 2007 | 01:02pm- |
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i dreamed i was missing
you were so scared
But no one would listen
cause no one else cared
After my dreaming
i woke with this fear:
What am I leaving
when i am done here
so if you're asking me i want you to know
when my time comes
forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
reasons to be missed
don't resent me
and when you're feeling empty
keep me in your memory
leave out all the rest
leave out all the rest
Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what I made
I'm strong on the surface
not all the way through
I've never been perfect
but neither have you
So if you're asking me I want you to know
when my time comes
forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
reasons to be missed
don't resent me
and when you're feeling empty
keep me in your memory
leave out all the rest
leave out all the rest
Forgetting / all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
Pretending / someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
when my time comes
forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
reasons to be missed
don't resent me
and when you're feeling empty
keep me in your memory
leave out all the rest
leave out all the rest
Forgetting / all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
Pretending / someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are
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| With Great Power, Comes Sequels |
| -May 04, 2007 | 04:12am- |
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Children of Men DVD Menu music- |
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Earlier tonight Josh, Robert, Chris and I went to see Spider-Man 3. I thought it was very good, they did a great job tying up the story lines from the previous two films.
Before that, Joshua and I played some pool at the bar for a couple hours, it's pretty much all I can do lately to keep my mind off things. When I'm playing pool, there's nothing else, no one else, except the person I'm playing with, and my father. But when I say "my father" I don't mean I that I'm thinking about how much I miss him, I mean that when I play pool that it's really the only time I can really feel him there with me, in my head I can hear him, "Good shot, son." I miss him so much.
I've been having a lot of trouble emotionally the last couple days, next week is two things that are really hitting me hard. Monday the 7th will be nine months since dad died, followed almost immediately by my birthday on Wednesday. My first birthday without dad around. It's hard, I miss him and I'm very lonely in general. Playing pool just keeps me sane, I think it's the only time right now that I am really ever relaxed.
After the movie, when Josh and I got home, I watched Scrubs, and just got even more depressed by the ending of that. It completely reminded me of myself and how a lot of the people around me are happy in relationships and I just can't help but feel sometimes that that should be me.
Oh well, I guess that's it for now, go see Spider-Man 3, have a good ol' time. Now it's time for me to stay up all night like all good little boys don't.
Type to you later.
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| Almost There |
| -April 29, 2007 | 01:37am- |
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Linking Park - What I've Done- |
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Not very long ago I uploaded the new site after I finished making it. I spent the last week doing little things here are there getting the pieces into place and the better part of the last 8 hours completing it and putting it online. So now it's on the server and should be working just fine, though I'm sure I'll find something wrong with it in the next couple days.
So over the last few weeks I redesigned my deadjournal, recoded my myspace and now I've finished redoing my site. It only took me about 3 years to come up with and implement a new layout for it. The last thing there is left to do now is to finish up the layout for my new Portfolio site and get that online. I figure I'll get to that sometime in the next week or two.
I believe that's pretty much it for now, I'm quite tired. Type to you later.
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| It's MY Space |
| -April 20, 2007 | 04:10am- |
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Linkin Park_Minutes to Midnight_What I've Done- |
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I just finish my two day project of fixing my MySpace ( here and in the top right corner) McDonald's style. I completely tore down the old layout, CSS code and all, and rebuild it from scratch using my own code! I'm so proud of myself! XD
I spent a few hours the other night pouring over some CSS "tutorials" to make sure I had a complete understanding. The stuff (CSS) isn't by any means difficult, I just wanted to make sure I knew every little trick to make the page perfect, or as close to it as I could get.
I had gotten really sick & tired of re-tooling code from one of those prefabricated MySpace layouts and decided the only thing to do was throw it ALL out and recreate my layout from scratch... So I did. Anyone who has seen my MySpace in the last few weeks would probably look at it now and say, "It looks exactly the same." Yes, well it may look the same, because I wrote the code to keep the same look, but the insides are completely different. It would have taken too long and been too tedious to just go in and take out all the things from the old code that were useless, so I just rewrote it all.
As far as new editions go, yes I did add a couple new things that were not there before, these were things I had been meaning to add for sometime, but wanted to wait until I recoded the entire thing before adding them.
I already have a basic idea of where I want to go with the layout next, but I want to enjoy this layout for a bit longer before I throw it out for a new one, mainly because I just put all that time into it. The next one should be more fun (And I honestly mean fun, yeah I actually enjoy this shit, so bite me) when I do finally get around to making the next layout because this one really will be more from scratch because I won't have an existing "template" to look at and will truly be building it from scratch.
I believe that is it for now, type to you later. Enjoy (anything/everything/whatever).
P.S.
Go see Disturbia for a pretty decent hour/44. I found it to be better than I expected and pretty enjoyable. The System of A Down song, "Lonely Day" worked very well in that movie, I kind of wished they plugged it in there a couple more times. |
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| Testing |
| -April 02, 2007 | 01:06am- |
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Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars (TV)- |
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Obviously I updated the layout of the page. All the greens are now blue and all the black is now white, except on the friends page where all the black is still black. I had a nice pretty flash header made for the top, but it turns out DJ doesn't allow flash, so I had to redo the header as an imageMap.
Other than that the page works just fine, after a couple hours of code swimming, fun! No actual post update for now, outties.
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| Floating Away |
| -March 22, 2007 | 01:06am- |
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Jack's Mannequin - Dark Blue- |
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Never under estimate the power of accomplishment. The quarter is over, my classes are finished and I think I actually managed to pass them.
I have been in a great mood all night, well since I got out of class anyway, and I am just happy to be done with it all, mainly speech. Now I'm just looking forward to Amanda's visit this weekend, relaxing for a few days and then heading home for a few days next week.
Ahhhh, I think I'm just going to relax in the shower for a while.
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| Just want to go away... |
| -March 14, 2007 | 01:49am- |
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Three Days Grace - Time Of Dying- |
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I know it's been so long since I've posted on this thing that nobody reads it anymore, and the main audience I used to write to wants nothing to do with what I have to say anyway, but to Hell with it...
I just feel like I want to get in my car right now and drive away, just drive off to no where, just drive. Though honestly the extremely nice weather at the moment has something to do with it, I just want some time to relax and think, and I just don't feel like I have that right now. I'm so stressed out trying to keep up with my classes right now, mainly because I want so little to do with them, 2/3 anyway.
I don't really have anyone to talk to in the sense that I used to, right now. That alone kind of makes me want to just cry. Not to say that I cannot talk to Josh, but right now it seems best that I be the listener in that 'relationship' right now. I know he doesn't need my baggage at the moment. There was a time, that kind of ended about 5 or 6 months back, that I had someone to talk to and just spill to, but that person is gone, more or less, and I don't really have anyone right now. I did spend about an hour talking to my drawing instructor at school and that felt really good, but he's not really the best person to look to for that.
I feel so alone right now, and again I want to stress that I know Josh is there for me, but I'm not lonely in a "no friends" kind of way, though I do get lonely in the general sense when he spends the whole evening upstairs. I'm more lonely in a "path-of-life" kind of way. I don't really have anyone to spend that kind of time with and it's hard, especially since I have known that feeling, so I actually "miss" it as well.
I am really looking forward to after class Wednesday night, because I completely plan on coming home and just taking vodka shots until I can't tell where up is. Next week is the last week of the quarter, but it will also be the first time since the quarter started that I will be completely up to date on my classes, and I feel that is worth "celebrating" now, rather than then.
It's so wonderful outside, the weather is great.
And I am so fucking lonely.
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